Flashback: Catch a double edition of Get Smart on One.

With so many television options available we don’t have to look far to find our childhoods.

With a combination of M*A*S*H and two episodes of Get Smart on One, all I need is the guilt from not doing homework and I’m back in the 1970s.

In Wednesday’s double edition of Get Smart (4pm and 6.30pm), Max gets his nose caught in the lift doors, uses his shoe as a phone, says ”sorry about that, chief”, asks for the cone of silence, gets hit on by Agent 99, and is surrounded by 425 machinegun-carrying KAOS agents. Would you believe, 200 agents with sharp knives? How about a real estate agent with a vicious puppy?

Much darker detective work is in play with The Following (Nine, 9.30pm), as it reaches a frantic season finale. When we left last week, Debra was in the spot most humans fear most – nailed into a box and buried alive. These cult people really have a dreadful sense of humour.

For those who haven’t been following The Following, this ripping story ender will make very little sense. But you will have moments of creepy tension that will lead you to book in for the next series.

James Purefoy has been simply brilliant as Joe Carroll, the charismatic cult leader, gathering people to wander around glassy-eyed as they slaughter the innocent. Did I tell you it can be bleak and messy?

Now, Joe is hitting the bottle as hard as his nemesis Ryan Hardy (Kevin Bacon) and their bleary worlds are about to come together for the final chapter. Given the carnage so far, it’s difficult to imagine a happy ending.

Maybe a that-didn’t-go-quite-as-badly-as-it-could-have ending.

The whole ”I love you, but I have to slash your throat right now” element of The Following makes the dramas of Offspring (Ten, 8.30pm) seem a little mundane. But much more like real life.

This week, Nina (Asher Keddie) has issues with … well, almost everything. The starting point is the decision of Darcy (John Waters) to skive off for a trip around the country while Nina is pregnant.

Without being Dr Obvious, the strengths of this show are the writing and the performances. Actually, that is unforgiveably obvious. But the great acting goes deep into the ensemble.

Kat Stewart and Eddie Perfect, as Billie and Mick, remain favourites, particularly because they are now, in her words, a ”power couple”. Mick’s song is on the radio and Billie is searching for a real estate underling.

Bernard Fanning is a guest on Adam Hills Tonight (ABC1, 8.30pm). How could you not watch and hope the former Powderfinger frontman sings?

Worth a look

Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses LifeStyle, 8.30pm

The TV property guru helps Brits spruce up their homes for sale.
Some Girls Comedy, 9pm

Charming, rough-edged comedy about British high-school girls.
Borgen SBS One, 9.30pm

The bad news: season one is nearly over. The good news: we’re yet to see seasons two and three.